A Neverending Cycle
by HP Slash Luv
Summary: It's not always easy to end a cycle of abuse: Harry P/Teddy L, hints of Sirius B/Harry P, non con, slash, minor, extreme angst, character death


**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended

***

The young boy of 15 was crying out in pain. Teddy Lupin lied prostrate while his godfather was pounding into him, his hole being abused by Harry's throbbing erection.

Andromeda had told her godson that he would be spending the night over at his beloved godfather's house. Little did she know what truly went on between the two of them for about a year.

Teddy still remembered when it began.

~*~*

Teddy Lupin was 14 and was spending the night over at Harry's, like he had done a thousand times. The only difference was that Harry was newly divorced from Ginny. She had said that he was too depressed and broken from the war and she was miserable in the marriage. She had custody of the children and he only had visitation rights. This was the first time Teddy was staying over after the divorce was finalized and he wanted to cheer one of his favorite people up.

When Harry picked him up, his eyes were shadowed and held pain. The dark look that never quite left his eyes after the war was intensified. As soon as they arrived at Harry's loft, he busied himself with cooking dinner. He had house elves to do it, but when something bad happened, he did house elf work to keep himself busy. Teddy was sitting at the table thinking on how to cheer Harry up.

Out of nowhere, Harry began to speak. "Have I told you about Sirius Black?"

Teddy nodded cautiously. He wasn't sure where this was going. Of course they have talked about the famous Black before. "You and Grandma Andy told me about him. He was a war hero and died protecting you."

Harry smiled, though it did not reach his eyes. "That's true, but there's something else that I never told you. Today's the anniversary of when he took my virginity."

Teddy's mouth opened like a fish. Out of everything he was expecting Harry to say, that was something that had never even occurred to him. He finally found his voice. "You two were in a relationship?"

Harry gave a mirthless laugh that held bitterness in it. "You could hardly call it a relationship. It was just sex. When I was 14, he stole my virginity from me. No matter how much I said 'no', he refused to stop. I think Azkaban messed up his mind more than anyone thought."

Teddy couldn't believe what he was hearing. "He raped you? Did my dad know?"

Harry turned away from his cooking. "I guess you could call it rape. No one knew. I doubt anyone would believe me. Your dad may have been sent to Azkaban for murder if he knew. The sex continued until his death, whenever I saw him. You know how Ginny said I was too broken from the war?" Teddy nodded dumbly, feeling overwhelmed with information. "Ginny was partially right. I was broken alright, but it wasn't from the war. I don't think I ever quite got over what my godfather did to me."

Teddy got up from the table, and reached to hug Harry. He wanted to help Harry get pass it. He would do anything Harry needed.

Harry wrapped his arms around Teddy, pulling him closer. Teddy didn't think anything of it because Harry hugged him all of the time. Everything was fine and dandy until Harry lowered his hands, cupping Teddy's ass cheeks. Teddy stiffened in surprise. The savior of the wizarding world lowered his head to whisper into his godson's ear. "You want to help me forget, don't you?"

Teddy nodded, although he was frightened. "I'll do anything I can to make it better."

Harry smiled softly before he moved to hold Teddy at arms' length. It happened so quick that Teddy didn't even see it coming, but Harry's lips were pressed onto his. They moved eagerly against his still lips. When Harry bit down on his bottom lip, Teddy opened him mouth because of the pain. Harry's tongue invaded his mouth, and this is when Teddy began to fight. Harry pulled back, still holding Teddy. "Please, help me. I need to forget."

Harry's hands went to Teddy's pants, and the 14 year old stood still, torn between what to do. The majority of him wanted to fight this because he knew it was wrong, but at the same time, all he could see was the defeated look in Harry's eyes. He really wasn't giving up that much to help Harry feel better, was he?

He stood still as his pants were removed. He lied on the floor without compliant. As Harry stroked him, to his mortification, he realized he was getting hard. Like any teenage boy, he had wanked, but this was essentially rape, even if he was allowing it to happen. How could he be enjoying it?

He lied still, until Harry positioned himself at his hole. Suddenly, the realization hit him. He was about to give up his virginity to his godfather out of pity. In a way, he was bit like girls, who dreamed of their first time being with someone they loved. He loved his godfather, but not in that way. He began to thrash, needing to get away. He'd find a different way to help Harry. He could tell Grandma Andy what Sirius did, and she could get Harry a mind healer.

Teddy's thrashing grew worse as Harry held him down. Harry whispered, "If you play along, I'll make sure you enjoy it. It's just going to hurt more if you continue to fight." That did not ease Teddy's fighting. It only intensified it.

Harry snarled, furious that Teddy refused to listen to him. With dry fingers, and no lubrication of any kind, he quickly inserted 3 fingers together, not taking care in prepping his virgin godson. After all, Sirius never prepped him when he fought. Why should he give Teddy the privilege? Holding Teddy down, he thrust in, not waiting for Teddy to feel and semblance of comfort.

Teddy was crying, while Harry pumped in and out. In a couple of minutes that felt like an eternity to the 14 year old boy, Harry came with a shout. Throughout the pain, the erection Harry had managed to give Teddy in the beginning, had completely softened. Harry slumped next to Teddy, breathing deeply, while the young boy tried to stop his overflowing tears.

~*~*

Every time Teddy and Harry were alone, it always repeated. Teddy eventually gave up fighting. Harry always got what he wanted, and when Teddy didn't fight, Harry would prep him better so it was less painful for him.

Teddy didn't know if it was helping Harry feel better. He still saw the haunted look in his godfather's eyes, but he continued to keep his mouth shut. Even if there was just a tiny bit different, it was worth it. He wanted his godfather to be happy and he would do anything that he had to.

~*~*

Harry stood in the Department of Mysteries. It was the 17th anniversary of when Sirius fell through the veil. His godson Teddy was now 15, just like he had been when Sirius had gone through.

He never liked how much he hurt his precious godson. He would never want to hurt Remus' child, but he just couldn't stop himself. He was as messed up as Sirius must have been after Azkaban. He wanted to stop hurting Teddy. Maybe, if he stopped now, Teddy would be able to get over it and wouldn't make the same mistake Harry had.

He had left a note at his loft for when someone checked on him. He didn't explain what he did to Teddy. It was up to the 15 year old if it became known.

Harry was staring at the curtain that covered the veil, the same veil that took Sirius away. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. The only way he would stop hurting his godson was if he died. So, on the same day that Sirius fell through the veil, protecting the boy he brutally raped, Harry willingly walked into the veil, so he would stop hurting Teddy.

~*~*

In the nothingness that was the veil, Harry opened his eyes. He didn't feel any kind of pain and wondered if this was truly what it felt like to be dead. If it was, why were people so scared of it?

A hand on his shoulder startled him, and he turned lifeless green eyes onto Sirius Black. Sirius looked like how he had before his 12 years in Azkaban, except his eyes still held shadows that would never be lost. Tears were welling up in Sirius' eyes.

Harry didn't need to hear the words. He knew he godfather was sorry for everything he put him through, and essentially put Teddy through. Harry walked into Sirius' arms, letting the hug take place.

Harry thought about his young godson, who sooner or later, would discover his suicide.

He hoped Teddy Lupin could break the unfortunate cycle and find happiness.

***

**Author Notes: **Please review. It was the first time I made a real attempt with strict angst and no romance.


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